


Learning to Love Yourself

by uwunium



Category: Blaseball (Video Game)
Genre: Blaseball Season 11, Feel-good, Gen, Happy Ending, adhd NaN, autistic NaN, its literally called 'learning to love yourself' like what'd you expect, its what we deserve, lets be real this is super cheesy, san francisco lovers, the infinity in the unlimited tacos logo stands for neurodiversity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:55:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27242278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uwunium/pseuds/uwunium
Summary: After finding the Holy Glrail and receiving a transfusion or pure love blood, some players must figure out how they can be charming in their own way.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	Learning to Love Yourself

**Author's Note:**

> im gonna cut to the chase and say, im not suuuuper happy w this!!! So now i'm impulsively posting it at midnight on a day before an exam.
> 
> This is a cheesy mess. But I hope you guys enjoy it nevertheless.

“Don’t you want to come clossser,” the tall woman hissed in her sultriest voice. Her skin was pink, contrasting her bright red lipstick and yellow eyes that resembled those of a reptile’s. Her hair moved around hypnotically, the snakes moving and swaying with minds of their own. She looked the opposition in the eye. “My love~”

“So… So beautiful...” As these words were said, Ortiz Lopez took the opportunity and ran to first base, giving just enough time for Knight Triumphant to score. And just like that, the game was over. After the regular 12 hour game of the day, the second sun finally began to set on the Polyhedron, putting the Romantic Collaborative of San Francisco under the beautiful veil of darkness. The stars alone illuminated the earth; the moon was nowhere to be seen. The grand black hole in the sky created streaks of light around its pitch-black center, resembling freshly mixed paint ready for a new canvas.

“Nice work out there babe~” Good ol’ kissin Kichiro skipped up and gave Ortiz a peck on the cheek, leaving bright red lipstick stains on her pink face. 

“New love blood seems to be treating you well” Don Mitchell said, still holding his bat, “You really knocked it outta the park out there”

“Indeed she did,” Knight Triumphant’s booming yet hollow voice sounded out, “Thou madeth a glory of our team.”

  
In the midst of the Lovers stood a starstruck young entity that stood out from the rest. For one, their uniform seemed brand new, as if they had just joined the team. They wore accessories that seemed to clash with the rest of the outfit- a spy belt, a spiked armpiece and a torn up demi-cape. But the strangest part about them was not their apparel, but their very existence. The world seemed to glitch around them, as though they were corrupted data that failed to properly delete. Yet despite this, NaN looked at Ortiz with as much admiration as you could get from a void where a player once was. 

“That was SO COOL!” They beamed at the much taller player, “You just went up there… And said all those things! And they all liked it! And they actually listened to you and stuff!”

“Well of courssse they lissstened to me!” Ortiz said, pushing some of her snake-hair over her shoulder, “Who WOULDN’T lissssten to me?” She gave a friendly wink.

“Amazing…” NaN said, looking into the sky while processing this new information. “I’ve been spending so long trying to figure out how to do that, and you just do it so… Naturally!”

“Hey wait a minute,” Kichiro interjected, “NaN, didn’t you, like… Have love blood BEFORE joining the Lovers?”

“Y-Yeah… But I’m not charming or anything…” NaN said sheepishly, “I can barely even hold a regular conversation, much less one that convinces people on the other team to just let me win,”  
“Of coursssse you’re charming, darling!” Ortiz chimed in, giving the younger player some friendly encouragement, “You’re like a little puppy! Jusssst sssso cute!” She attempted to squeeze NaN’s cheek to no avail, her hand simply glitching back to where it came from.

“B-But I don’t _wanna_ just be cute,” NaN said, moving away slightly on instinct at the attempt of touch, “I want to be _charming_. I wanna be like you guys! Cool and elegant and always showing people what it means to be... A Lover.”

“Young one,” Knight’s voice boomed again, “I has’t a Proposition for Thee. At ‘morrow’s dawn, meeteth us at the Thrones of Down for a Grand Teaching!”

“Uh…” NaN seemed confused.  
“They just said you should come down to the beanbags tomorrow morning for a new lesson for your training.” Percival Wheeler stepped up from behind Knight, “Don’t know why they still talk like that, Squishiro taught me modern English but Knight over here refuses to use it.”

“In the meantime, I must but taketh the squire to their quarters. Tis getting late isn't it, young one?” Knight wrapped their large, armored arm around NaN’s shoulders, turning the two of them around. But before they left, Knight gave a quiet whisper to the rest of the team, “Checketh the ‘Group Chat.’ I has't an idea…”

***************************

Morning came too quickly, as it does on any Sunday. Despite blaseball players not needing sleep, the young NaN always preferred to keep those human traditions, potentially because their former team, the Unlimited Tacos, always did it, or possibly because they had yet to accept the reality of becoming the nonhuman life form that is a blaseball player. Regardless, their sleep was just the same as that of any humans, and being suddenly awoken was just as jarring.

“Rise and shine!” The two Helgas spoke in complete unison, waking up the resting NaN. 

“Huh…? What time is it…” NaN sat up slowly, still groggy. They looked at the clock, only to find that it was already 6:40. “W-Wait, I’m gonna be late!”  
“Hehe, there’s no need to rush!” Helga Moreno said softly, “We can wait!” Helga Burton completed the sentence in perfect harmony.  
“W-We?”

“Oops, Helga, it looks like we said too much.” One of the Helgas looked at the other, “Well, Helga, I guess we’ll just have to meet NaN there!”

“Uh…” NaN said, confused at their level of synchronicity, “I’ll… I’ll be there soon.”

The glitched entity got ready for the day as any normal person would. They put on one of the several identical pairs of cargo shorts they owned- they were the only brand that were comfortable enough- and a lightweight T-shirt from one of their old special interests. Walking past the full-length mirror that appeared to be covered by a black curtain, they put on their favorite pair of sneakers and their trusty backpack, and headed out of the players’ quarters and into the Polyhedron.

The sun was beginning to rise over San Francisco as they arrived at the beanbags. As the name suggested, there was a huge circle of beanbags arranged in the shape of a heart; At its center was an unlit campfire, and at the far north end stood a giant screen tuned into replays from last season. However, the main thing that caught NaN’s attention was the fact that all of their teammates were gathered there.

“NaN,” Knight stood up triumphantly, “Yest'rday thou mention'd that thou wanted to becometh more charming.”

“Y-Yeah!” NaN exclaimed, “Are you guys gonna help me learn how to get people to like me?”

“Young squire,” Yosh Carpenter spoke up, which in and of itself was a rare occurrence. “You have already found the true answer to that question.”

“Kid, if you’re gonna make it to the top you’ve gotta make it as _You,_ ” Parker Meng looked over.

“But…” NaN looked a little defeated, “N-No, I don’t wanna be like that. I wanna be like you guys!” The rest of the team looked at each other for what to do.  
“Child,” Knight approached NaN, setting their armored hand on NaN’s shoulder to the best of their ability, “Thou embarked on this journey to findeth thyself.”

“Y-yes…”

“Then speaketh to us the truth.”

NaN sighed, and sat down on the nearest beanbag. 

“I was never cool like you guys,” they looked at the morning sky, thinking about their past, “Nobody ever really talked to me or anything. But I could always tell they didn’t actually like me.”

“Now tell me why they wouldn’t like somebody like you?” Sandford Garner chimed in, “It doesn’t make any sense, you’re a great kid.”

“They didn’t like me. They just _tolerated_ me. I was always annoying.” NaN continued, “I-I don’t wanna talk too much, but now that I’m traveling around, I want to be _likable_. I might not remember much about who I used to be, but… I don’t want to be like them. Or- I guess I do, but-”

“Knowing thy true identity is a difficult quest, my squire.” Knight comforted the young apprentice.

“It doesn’t help that my ‘true identity’ was erased from history.” NaN sat back farther into the beanbag, “How am I supposed to know who I am when I don’t even remember my own _name?_ ”

“You’re NaN.”Jaylen Hotdogfingers spoke for the first time in the meeting, “That’s something, isn’t it?”

“Hehe, when I heard your name, I thought it wassss Ssscottish!” Ortiz said. “Sssso when you were teaching me about kickball and sssstuff I talked in a Sssscottish accent the whole time! Not to hype myssself up or anything, but that was a CLASSSSSIC~”

  
“You were the only person brave enough here to go out robbing with me!” Don Mitchell chimed in. “You really saved me back there when you broke that fancy computerized security system.”

  
“That was an accident…”

  
“And when I taught you about courage, you let me in on your fear of snow,” Percival Wheeler turned in her beanbag to face them, “NaN, I never expected you to be afraid of snow.”

“H-Hey! Snow is dangerous!”

“And that costume you helped me design for the show last weekend?” Theo King added, “It was fantastic. I would have never thought to add in slap bracelets.”

  
“You are who you are.” Yosh Carpenter said, “You are simply yourself.”

  
“But… I’m _not_ anymore. I don’t know who or _what_ I even am…”

  
“Kid,” Jaylen stepped up, “Who you _were_ doesn’t matter. That’s in the past, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. What we _can_ do is move forward. And what matters for that isn’t trying to be like some vague idea of yourself from the past. It’s about being the you from the present. Even if that ‘you’ isn’t what you expected.”

“I” NaN sat up, “I never thought about it like that…”

  
“Take it from me, kid.” Jaylen gave them a pat on the back, “I sure as hellmouth didn’t expect to be standing here today.”

  
“Do you think this will help get people to like me?” NaN questioned, their eyes shining with a spark of hope.

  
“I’m sure of it.”

  
  


***************************

  
  


“Focus NaN…” The familiar void spoke to themselves calmly while waiting for their turn to bat, “ ‘Are you from tlennesee? Because you’re the only ten...’ No, that doesn’t work…”

“NaN, you’re up!” Ortiz gave them a playful shove, “Remember, just be yoursssself!”  
With that, NaN was up to the plate. 

“Here goes nothing…” Instantly, the nerves overtook them. They had suddenly forgotten everything they had spent all night practicing, all eyes on the stadium were on them and they were judging and they were gonna mock them like everyone had done in the past…

“Focus.” They cleared their mind of all thoughts, “Just be yourself…”  
They looked up and opened their eyes.

“I know I might not look like much. I might h-have low stars, and the worst d-defense in the league, but…” They hesitated. “But I know who I am. I-I think. A-And as of today, I will be not only learning to love myself, but learning what it m-means to be loved.”

“So uh,” Tillman Henderson said, “what’s with the monologue?”

“U-Um… Well the team got love blood a-and I couldn’t figure out how they managed to charm everyone, so I’m just being myself and hoping for the best!” They spoke those words quickly and nervously and gave a nervous smile.

“So you wanna just walk to first base?”

“Y-Yes.”

“Alright.”

  
“S-So you’ll let me go?”

  
“Yeah, you already made a clown of yourself.”

“THANK YOU!!” NaN yelled back as they ran to first base.

The rest of the game went as smoothly as a blaseball game could get. The lovers managed to beat the Shoe Thieves that round, taking the game despite losing the other two. The second sun began to set on the game, leaving San Francisco colored with a golden glow. However, at this moment, it was San Francisco’s blaseball team that was glowing the brightest.

“You. Did. IT!!!!!” Ortiz tried to give NaN a hug, only to find herself face planting on the ground when NaN’s glitching caused them to move.

“You really did it!” Kichiro jumped in, “Looks like that love blood is finally kickin’ in!”

  
“‘Atta guy, stealing blases, stealing money, and stealing hearts.” Don Mitchell chimed in, “I trained you well.”

“Uh, th-thanks you guys, but I think it was all a lucky coincidence!”

“This is blaseball. There’s no such thing as coincidences.” Percival Wheeler replied.

  
“I.. I guess you’re right!” NaN said excitedly, “I still don’t know how I did it! I just got up there and… I said what I was thinking?” 

“You did great, sweetie,” Ortiz muttered, her face still in the dirt. 

“But… How?”

“My squire,” Knight Triumphant kneeled down to talk to NaN, “The first step to being loved,” Knight looked at NaN warmly and gave a smile, “...Is to love yourself.”

  
***************************

  
  


“TILLMAN.” Esmey Ramsey stomped up to the smirking pitcher, “WHY did you let all those guys walk. We could have WON if you didn’t pull that.”  
“Oh, my reasons are simple,” Tillman gave a sly smirk, “I knew it’d make YOU mad.”

“HENDERSON!” 

**Author's Note:**

> Want more sheNaNigans? Let me know!
> 
> Or don't. I'll probably keep writing more anyway.


End file.
